So clearly, I should have made it obvious that we are NOT dropping out of the program yet... we are definitely waiting to see how this all shakes out! Granted, I would probably throw up if we got a referral call tomorrow since we would have to make a huge life decision on "blind faith." I'm not sure I have enough faith to do that today. (OK, I'm pretty sure I don't have enough faith.) Doug and I are some of the lucky ones. We could make it happen. We could beg, borrow, and steal to find the money. We could plead with his company to let him work remote for a week. (We only have two weeks of vacation time to work with... And I'm not really sure his job would be there when we came back if we took more.) We could call upon some of the people who know people in Korea to help us negotiate a short-term apartment rental (and perhaps a lawyer—gosh, I hope we don't need one of those). Is it what we signed up for when we started this process!? Not even close. Do we understand why it's happening?! Kind of. Do we want to do all of this?! No. Would we?! Probably.
But here's the deal... It's not about us. We have a son already. We're cannot and will not leave him for three to four weeks. So he comes with us. But... He's going to be in school in the fall. I'm not even sure I can legally pull him from school for a month, even if it is just kindergarten. And you know what?! I'm not even sure that should pull him from school for that long. And, I'm a little worried about a what a month in Korea will do to him emotionally right now. He is my first priority here. While I appreciate why these laws are being put in place, they don't take into account my child who is sitting on the couch next to me... just my hypothetical one. While I understand that life isn't fair, asking Spencer to make certain trade-offs is a showstopper.
There are other showstoppers as well... but I'm really hoping they don't come to be. Like birth parent opportunity to change their mind while we are in country. That really can't happen... right?! RIGHT?! And obviously... we don't have control over all of them. Realistically, we could choose to move forward, accept a referral, and then the birth mother could choose to parent when given her family court date. There's so much new in the process that there's many unknowns right now. (And this Type-A gal can't stand it!)
As I said last night... at least we don't have a referral in place. At least we aren't one of the first families through. That would be a much more difficult place to be. (Or not, I guess.) Next week the Korean agencies are appealing to the judges in Family Court. Let's hope they get them to see that requiring both parents to stay in the country for some undetermined amount of time, but a minimum of 15 days and up to a month is unrealistic. Make them see that birth parent rights need to be fully dealt with before the adoptive parents are in country. Make them understand that there are other lives to take into account here.
In the meantime, we're holding on, and waiting to see what comes next.