Never Say Never

So you say you want details?! Huh. Well, we don't really have too many details... but I will give you what we've got so far. Let's start by saying that as recently as 8 months ago, had you asked us when we were going to start the process again, I would have looked at you like you had two heads, three eyes, and about five extra limbs. I would have promptly followed that with either "Oh, we're not!"  or "We are one and done thankyouverymuch." Then I would change the conversation. We were in no place to even consider another child... financially, emotionally, or otherwise. But, the past eight months have been, well, interesting. The original plan was always for siblings. (Not a sibling group though) But then we came home with Spencer, the child who would not sleep and was non-stop action. The thought of adding to our family literally made me sick to my stomach. And honestly, I could see Spencer flourishing as an only, or a sibling. So it didn't seem to be a real concern/worry in my life. Over the summer, a lot changed in our lives. It became clear we were staying put in this house for the time being, we lost Roxy, and we had some significant discipline and behavior issues with Spencer. (That I have yet to decide if I want to blog about.) There were some other smaller items, but those were the big ones. The months that followed, I worked very hard with Spencer on the issues we were facing. We revamped a LOT of our daily life. In the process, we also got to a better sleep place. While a consistent full night is still elusive for me, I'm getting more sleep than in the past. Simultaneously, Doug was getting our financial house in order. We still have a way to go, but he definitely turned the tide. {knocking on wood here} Somewhere along the way, my mindset began to change. Life was no longer an uphill battle. While I am perfectly happy with our family of three (and it's more than I ever could have hoped for) I feel there is room for more. (I won't speak for Doug here.) The thought of "another" did not make me run for the restroom, but instead brought up feelings of "that could be fun!" In October, we found ourselves seriously discussing the possibility of a sibling. I can't pinpoint what changed or when it happened... but for a variety of reasons, we knew that we wanted Spencer to have a sibling. (For him more than anything else... but I want to be clear that it was not his request.) The moral of this long-winded story?! Never Say Never.

Once the decision was made, we let our placement agency know. We knew we wanted to use the same placement agency as last time, but also knew that we absolutely did not want to use our home study agency again. At that point, it was time to find a new HS agency. We got a list from our placement agency of their "faves" and started doing phone interviews. When I spoke to the second agency, I knew that was the one I wanted to apply too. We did, and are now in process to complete the home study. I guess you could say we've been "in process" for a couple of months now if you count all the up front research and pre-app data that needs to be gathered. Ideally, we would also have our application in to the placement agency and would be on the "Home Study to Korea" list, but we're hitting a few bumps. One, is the insurance letter. Doug's company is switching health insurance providers, so we won't have that until next week (hopefully). (Some of you may remember that this held us up last time as well.) And, since I'm all for honesty... let's just say doing this whole adoption thing on one income is a whole lot different than on two. We're hoping that the bonus check hits the account soon, cause it would make this program fee that we need to pay now a little easier. So we're sitting on that application. And honestly?! I'm okay with that. So far, I'm a lot more zen about this process... we'll see how that holds. Why am I telling you all this?! Because all of this timing affects all the details I'm about to give you.

So here's what we know as of now. Granted, this could all be impacted by the "new numbers" Korea gets from the ministry and how that impacts the amount of referrals our agency should receive... but as part of my zen approach, I'm not worrying or obsessing over that.

• We're going with Korea again. (There's lots of rumors out there, but while aware of them, we are not letting them impact our decision making process.) We're also not choosing a gender preference again.

• If we can pull it together, we should be HSTK (Home Study to Korea) in May.

• Currently, referrals are 11 months after HS is received. (It was 10-11 months, but there has been a slow down in the past several months that leads me to believe it's more like 11-12 months right now.) That would bring us to spring of 2013. Travel is about 4-6 months after that (fall 2013). *** The important thing to note is that this is all based on the current timelines, which are never set in stone.*** We're really comfortable with this current timeline though. Honestly. It's actually ideal in our world. Our original home study actually states that we would like two to three children (really?!) with about 4 years in between. I'm sure I've even said that to some of you that I would like several years in between kiddos. Given the current timelines, it may happen. We'll see if it was meant to be!

Other than that, there's not much right now. We're currently in the paper chase, which I'm happy with. (I love this part of the process... I really do!) The excitement level here is pretty low (and no, Spencer is not aware of any of this) and I don't really expect it to ramp up anytime soon. We have a looong way to go still. I think that I'll feel a little more at ease once we're officially waiting for a referral, maybe then the excitement will sneak in. For now, we're chasing down all those pesky documents and I'm deliberating a new piece of furniture for the home visit.